


Stupid and Gay

by Misfitz



Category: The Misfits (Podcast), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: ..or does it?? dun dun DUN, Also he quits weed, But u know what? It works, Cam is confused, Eric Vivian Matthews cameo, Friends to Lovers, Gay Panic, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Lots of talk about consent and healthy boundaries, Love Confessions, M/M, Mason tries to be helpful, Mostly at the beginning, Probably too much tbh, Swagger doesn't know how to deal with feelings, Swagger plays fortnite, Switz, This is just wholesome and gay, everyone else is only mentioned - Freeform, gay baby gang - Freeform, it doesn't really work, slight angst, yeah this au is fake af lads sorry to say
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 04:07:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19456027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misfitz/pseuds/Misfitz
Summary: Eric Vivian Matthews has many issues.One of those is that his name is not actually Eric Vivian Matthews, but his friends are stupid and his fans are stupider, so it basically is at this point. Seriously, the fuck kind of middle name is Vivian?The second issue he has is that he’s quit smoking weed. Not completely, obviously, he’s not totally insane, but his tolerance has gone up so much that he’s needed tons to get a decent high. Matt quit for a month and said that when he tried it again, 10 mgs knocked him onto his ass. Now that sounds very promising to Eric Vivian Matthews, and so he’s going clean for a little while. He’s two weeks in, which is two weeks longer than he expected, but he also didn’t realize just how straight up miserable life is when he’s not stoned out of his mind.The third issue is that Cameron has moved to Melbourne.That wouldn’t be a problem-- hell, it’d be the opposite, except for one tiny problem: Swagger has an undoubtedly, sickeningly, massively gay crush on the man.





	Stupid and Gay

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally written in uhhh early may  
> Honestly I had no idea where I was going with this but it turns wholesome so enjoy the ride :)  
> also i call swags.. well. swags in this because using fake names is a little strange to me? idk, i'm sure i'll call him eric in some fics, just not this one.

Eric Vivian Matthews has many issues.

One of those is that his name is not actually Eric Vivian Matthews, but his friends are stupid and his fans are stupider, so it basically is at this point. Seriously, the fuck kind of middle name is Vivian?

The second issue he has is that he’s quit smoking weed. Not completely, obviously, he’s not totally insane, but his tolerance has gone up so much that he’s needed tons to get a decent high. Matt quit for a month and said that when he tried it again, 10 mgs knocked him onto his ass. Now that sounds very promising to Eric Vivian Matthews, and so he’s going clean for a little while. He’s two weeks in, which is two weeks longer than he expected, but he also didn’t realize just how straight up miserable life is when he’s not stoned out of his mind.

The third issue is that Cameron has moved to Melbourne.

That wouldn’t be a problem-- hell, it’d be the opposite, except for one tiny problem: Swagger has an undoubtedly, sickeningly, massively gay crush on the man. 

He only figured it out a few months ago, when he realized that his occasional gay thoughts about cuddling or kissing or living a domestic lifestyle apparently weren’t normal. The weird thing, though, is that Cam is literally the only man he’s had gay thoughts about. Nobody else in his entire existence has made him question his sexuality. He asked Toby about it, who had replied that sexuality is more fluid than most people seem to think, and that it can absolutely be valid for him to be bi for just one or two guys. So that’s something.

Anyways, learning how to deal with his newfound bi-ness, or whatever his identity is, along with figuring out that he really likes one of his best friends (and his voice, and his hair, and his eyes, and his butt, and, uh, yeah…), had definitely been a hurdle to jump over. He freaked, he’d go back and forth between acceptance, he spent countless nights sleeplessly scrolling through lgbtq+ websites and articles, he even cried a few times. Rethinking your life and interactions with friends and partners through a new lens was a lot more confusing than he had expected it to be. He had a newfound respect for people who managed to make it through that. He was just starting to balance out, too, when Cam notified everyone with the surprise that he’d be moving to Melbourne in a week, not even 20 minutes away from them.

That was two weeks ago.

Although Cam supposedly likes his independence, he’s spent a majority of his time at the Misfits house, or having everyone over at his as he sets things up. Swagger really does not like this. He honestly had no idea how hard it actually is to pretend like everything’s fine when the person you wanna smooch is only a few feet away from you, totally unavailable. He feels like a nerdy teenage girl where her crush is the hot jock. When he was in high school, he had no issue asking girls out, but this is something totally foreign to him. Cam is one of his best friends. And, you know, is a heterosexual man. It’s complicated. 

Toby’s aware of his feelings, and unfortunately so is Mason, although that’s only because Mason’s a nosy bitch. Toby’s cool with letting Swagger do what he wants to do, although he does like to tease or waggle his eyebrows suggestively whenever Cam is near.

Mason, however, has decided it’s his new life goal to set the two of them up together. Apparently it doesn’t matter that Cam is straight and not looking for a relationship, because once he realizes how beautiful and amazing Eric Vivian Matthews is, he’ll fall instantly and they’ll be together forever. Swagger tells Mason that he is stupid, because love doesn’t work that way. (Swagger doesn’t tell Mason that he wishes that was true.)

The first time Mason tried to get them together, it actually happened way before Cam moved. Okay, maybe not  _ way  _ before. It was 3 months ago exactly. Swagger remembers the date vividly, because a week after he discovered his feelings, Toby found out, and the week after that, Mason snooped around and bullied Swagger until he told him. Then, not even a day later, he tried to set them up and failed spectacularly.

It was a normal day. The boys finally managed to coordinate themselves enough to film a recording session of fortnite, much to Swagger’s chagrin and Jay’s delight. Mason and Cam were also there, of course. The session started out as it usually does. They cracked a few jokes, though Swagger had made sure to avoid making the slightest gay jokes around Cam, fearful that he’d suddenly find out his feelings, and although Mason seemed a little more distracted and annoying than usual, he just brushed it off as Mason being Mason.

Not even an hour into recording, however, he noticed that something was up. You see, the thing about Mason is that he’s not a subtle guy at all. If whispering to someone were being subtle, Mason would have a foghorn used for all of his sentences. 

The thing that was up in this was that Mason was constantly splitting them off into groups of two. Naturally, he’d go off with Jay, while Cam and Swagger were left alone. It took Swagger some time to grow suspicious because Cam and Jay never commented on it and acted completely normally. Or at least, it was until Cam and Swagger were being ambushed by a couple of people, to which Cam cried, “Why do we keep splitting off the good players and bad players of our group?!” before dying. 

That was when Swagger realized that he had been bamboozled into spending one on one time with Cam in fucking fortnite. He couldn’t call Mason out in the middle of the session obviously, but he made his awareness  _ very _ clear. The next round, Swagger attached himself to Jay’s side, quoting that he wanted to be with someone actually good. His and Mason’s characters stood, staring at each other in silence for a good few seconds, but those seconds were filled with the understanding that the other knew what was up, tense with hostility. Then they went off with their respective partners for the rest of the game. As the rounds continued, Swagger got snappier and ruder, and by the end he was blatantly ignoring Mason. Cam, confused, asked them what was up. When neither told him why, he ended the session and told Swags to get some rest. 

After that, Swagger had went to bed pretty early, absolutely fuming. Even now, he doesn’t blame himself for getting so worked up and giving Mason an earful the next day, because that was when he was first trying to deal with his feelings and realizing he wasn’t just your average straight guy anymore. He knows Mason was trying to be helpful, but fuck, that’s not what a confused person needs. Mason had gotten genuinely upset and apologized, and he thought that was that.

The second attempt happened a month and a half later. At this point, Swagger was a little bit more comfortable with his feelings around the other man, though not completely. He even started venting to Toby a little about dealing with them, who tried to support him the best he could until he’d get annoyed at his constant complaints and tell Swags to fuck off. But he was still very awkward around Cam. He’s sure he noticed, even if he never commented on it. The two of them used to spend  _ hours _ in one on one discord calls, giggling about random shit or editing. Cam claimed that he liked them because it allowed him to keep an eye on a very high Swagger, which he’d easily believe. Since his feelings, however, they hadn’t had a single session outside of recording. He’d overanalyze everything he was saying in fear of letting his feelings be known, which filled him with a constant paranoia. It was never an enjoyable experience.

  
Or they hadn’t, until Mason called them both at 2 in the morning. Swagger was still up editing, so he answered, assuming he wanted to do a really quick recording session or something. Cam joined right after he did, sounding incredibly sleepy.

“What’s up, Mason?” Cam had slurred, yawning.

“What’s up cunts,” Mason replied. “I have some big boy issues and I figured you guys would be the most knowledgeable.”

“I’m surprised you know that word,” Cam commented.

“Shut the fuck up,” Mason said sweetly. 

“What’s the issue?” Cam asked, sounding more alert and serious already. Swagger wasn’t in the mood for 2 am serious talks, but he couldn’t have very well left right then, even if he noticed that he was being ignored. 

Mason was silent for a moment. “What do you do when you’ve fallen for a friend?” He asked finally, quietly. Swagger’s blood ran cold. He couldn’t---, no, Mason wouldn’t have gone that far, would he?

“That depends, I guess,” Cam said. “Do we know this person?”

“Yeah,” Mason replied, “But they’re not who you’d think. Okay so, say she’s like, a really close mate of mine, alright?”

“Hard to believe you’d be close to any female,” Cam snorted.

“Shut. So anyways, we’re close buds, yeah? Tell each other shit. But then I figure out ‘oh fuck, I think I like her’, and I start to distance myself. She notices, everyone else notices. I don’t have a chance in hell with her, and I know I’d get rejected, but I can’t stand to be around someone I like so much, so I avoid her. What would I do, then?” Swagger forgot to breathe. He  _ would _ go that fucking far. He vowed to strangle that man.

“Well…” Cam trailed off. “That’s a bit of a complicated situation. What makes you think you have no chance? I think you always will -- you gotta ask, that’s the only way you’d know for sure. Especially if it’s impacting the friend group or person herself. They’d deserve to at least know why you want to avoid them. There’s.. Not really an easy way out of that, but repressing your emotions or running away won’t do much good.”

“Hm.. That’s good advice, actually. Thanks, dad.”

Cam hummed. “No problem.”

“Well, I better go fix my sleep schedule,” Mason yawned very loudly and, to be honest, in a very faked manner. “Goodnight.” Before Swagger could blink, he had left the call. 

“Oh,” Cam murmured to himself, “Is the call not over.. Oh! Swags! You’re in here!”

Swagger didn’t want to speak ever again. He wanted to dig himself a grave, crawl in there, and wait until he decayed. It was blatantly obvious the supposed girl was Cam, and that Mason was acting as the Swagger of the situation. Cam gave his piece, and Mason threw it in his face.

Well fuck that, he decided quickly. Even if his crush straight up said that you’ll never know someone’s true feelings unless you ask, he’d go ahead and repress those emotions anyways. At least in Masons hypothetical scenario, they were both straight! “I’m here,” he finally replied, throat sounding dry. “I’m pretty tired, to be honest. I think I should go to bed too.”

“Oh.” Cam sounded almost disappointed. “Alright, then. Goodnight. I should probably get some sleep as well.”

“Night,” Swagger had bid, and the second he exited the call, he stomped over to Mason’s room and yelled at him until Matt told him to shut up and that they were both acting like children. 

  
  


And now, back to the present. As you can see, Mason doesn’t have a very good track record with helping Swagger deal with his feelings, so he has to take matters into his own hands.

Swagger’s main solution for getting over his feelings/never letting Cam know (whichever comes first) is by simply avoiding. It’s harder than it sounds, since he’s known for always wanting to go out and get high with friends. He can tell that everybody else notices when they all head to Cam’s and he’ll wave them off saying that he’s busy, or when Cam’s over and he retreats to his room for an early night. But that’s okay. Cam shouldn’t care too much, right? He’s got a bunch of other friends to occupy his time with, anyways. He’s just another face in the crowd, if even. (Because he has a helmet, so he doesn’t have a face. Hah. Get it? Ah, okay, that was a bad joke, even for him.)

For the most part, it works.

For this part, however, it doesn’t.

Swagger wakes up to his phone buzzing. He groans, blinking, disoriented for a moment before yawning and grabbing his phone. His eyeballs burn when it turns on. He turns the brightness all the way down. It doesn’t help at all.

He’s got a text message from somebody, at… 2:15 am. Nice. Yawning again, Swagger unlocks his phone. The message is from none other than the man he’s trying to avoid. Fucking lovely. Normally he’d ignore the message or just reply that he’s busy, but if Cam’s texting him at this hour, maybe something’s wrong.

Cam

Hey man, you awake?

Eric Vivian Matthews

I am now

What’s up?

Cam

Oh, sorry...

Didn’t mean to wake you.

Its okay, you can go back to sleep.

Eric Vivian Matthews

Dude you sound completely not okay over fucking text, how is that even possible

What’s wrong?

Cam

Damn, can’t back out of this, huh?

Eric Vivian Matthews

Uh, no

Dude, seriously, is everything alright?

Cam

I don’t know, Swags.

Is it?

Eric Vivian Matthews

???

Cam

Okay, look. I don’t really know how to say this nicely, but I know you’ve been avoiding me. I figured you were just tired or more depressed than usual or something, but it’s been nearly three weeks now and it doesn’t look like you’re avoiding anybody else.. Actually, I think this has been going on before I even moved, hasn’t it?

Mind telling me why? Did I do something wrong?

Swagger is speechless. It may be 2 in the morning, and his brain may be slow to process things, but reading that.. He’s wide awake now, body turning hot. Man, he really managed to fuck up something as simple as avoiding his crush, huh? What the fuck does he tell him? He can’t very well say that he’s got feelings, that’s just going to truly end their friendship.

Cam

Don’t tell me you fell back asleep.

If you did, I’m just coming over tomorrow and making you talk to me. We’re supposed to record in two days and I’ll be damned if I let this affect that.

Eric Vivian Matthews

No, not alsep

askepip

fuck

Asleep

I just dont know how to respond

Cam

By telling the truth.

Not that hard.

Eric Vivian Matthews

Wow, I wish that was true

Cam

Why isn’t it? 

Did I seriously do something wrong?

Eric Vivian Matthews

No, its not you man

Its me

Cam

Thats what literally everyone says.

Eric Vivian Matthews

I dont know what you want me to say! It’s true.

Cam

Swags, we’ve been through so much together. Whatever the reason is, you can tell me. I can handle it.

Please.

Eric Vivian Matthews

.,.,...

Look dude, i dont wanna be rude, but im pretty sure that if i told you why our friendship would be permanently ruined and id have to move to russia (but like the really outdoorsy wilderness part without a single living soul for 100 miles) and never speak to anyone again or some shit

Cam

What the fuck?

Swags, what is the issue? Do you hate me?

Swagger takes a deep breath. His fingers are shaking as he types. This is stupid, but he’s stupid, and hearing the man he really likes talk shit about himself isn’t helping his mental stale.

Eric Vivian Matthews

The opposite, actually.

Cam

The opposite

Of hating me?

…..

…

Wait.

No.

I’m getting the subtext wrong, right?

Swagger??

Eric Vivian Matthews

I didnt want to tell you for a reason

Ill be leaving now, goodnight

Cam

What the fuck? You can’t just leave after that!

Eric Vivian Matthews, come back here right fucking now

If you don’t, I’m coming over.

Eric Vivian Matthews

Youre joking right

Cam

No.

You just told me you liked me!! Over text!!!! I'm not letting you off that easy >:(

Eric Vivian Matthews

Please, let me wallow in my embarrassment alone, okay

Its bad enough as is

Cam

Why is it bad?

Eric Vivian Matthews

Oh hmm i don't know, maybe it's Because youre STRAIGHT and happily single and also my fucking friend okay. This sucks. This is stupid. Im stupid. Ugh

Cam

Well, aren’t you straight too?

Eric Vivian Matthews

I thought i was but i guess there’s one guy i’d go homo for and that guy happens to be you. Okay fr im leaving now you dont have to speak to me ever again i understand if you hate me. Bye

He’s already accepted his fate of having to move back to america and never speak to anyone from the misfits group again, living out the rest of his life in shame, when he receives another text. He doesn’t want to look at it, doesn’t want to know how much Cam surely despises him now, but the ugly need to just _ know  _ rears its head and he can't stop himself from taking a peek.

Cam

What if I told you that there’s one guy I’d go gay for, too?

Eric Vivian Matthews

… what

Cam

There’s one guy I’d go full homo for, too. His name happens to start with an e, middle name with a v, last name with an m.

Eric Vivian Matthews

Oh well i guess it isnt me then wow thats good to know, goodnight u w u

Cam

Motherfucker, I’m trying to say that I like you back!

Just take it will you?

Eric Vivian Matthews

But why

Cam

Why what?

Eric Vivian Matthews

Why do you like me back

How long have you??? 

What does this make us??

Ud rly go homo for me/?/

Cam

Youre stupid, gay, and have a nice voice. Also you are very tiny and cute :)

As a more serious answer, you’re a really great guy. It’s hard not to be drawn to your personality, especially once I got to know you. I figured for certain there couldn't be a reality where you'd like me back since you constantly talked about fucking chicks... Guess I should've taken my own advice and bit the bullet, haha. 

It’s been about 8 months since I realized.

We could be boyfriends or just two dudes who like each other. No need to rush.

Yes. I’m pretty sure I’m bi, but in the same boat as you, I guess… has to be a really special guy. 

Eric Vivian Matthews

Well I am special needs so i guess i’m perfect

Also Eight fucking months WHAT

And u never said anything ever??>? Dude. im too tired for this. This must be a dream. What the fuck

Cam

I can confirm it’s not a dream, or at least it better fuckin not be.

What about you? When did you know?

Eric Vivian Matthews

A little over 3 months ago.. That’s when I started avoiding you, if you couldn’t tell. Though now that just feels fucking stupid.

Cam

Not stupid, I can understand.. I had struggled a little while trying to act as normal as possible around you with my gay jokes and everything. Guess I did a better job than I thought, haha. Do wish you told me earlier though, we could’ve been boyfriends much sooner :0

Eric Vivian Matthews

I just got a boyfriend at 2 in the morning I don’t know how to process this

What do we even do now when we see each other ??? do we kiss?? Do we fuck?? Do we act like everythings the same??

Cam

Dude, you’re freaking out.

It’d just be like a friendship, but with more affection and intimacy. No rush. We can do our own thing, whatever you’re comfortable with.

Eric Vivian Matthews

Wow you’re really out here enforcing consent and healthy boundaries, huh

Cam

You know it ;)

Being happy in a relationship is the sexiest thing to exist.

Eric Vivian Matthews

Stupid and gay that is literally THE dorkiest thing I have ever heard you say. holy shit

Cam

Only for you <3

Eric Vivian Matthews

Listen, it’s 2 in the morning, i don’t have it in me to flirt

I’m going to bed

Goodnight

Cam

W h a t

And just leave me here? Excuse me?? Rude.

Eric Vivian Matthews

Well what exactly were you planning.? Its 2 in the morning i am fucking exhausted

Cam

Come over.

Eric Vivian Matthews

It’s 2 in the morning

Cam

Yes

Eric Vivian Matthews

Why would i agree

Cam

So that we can be gay and see each other, which we haven’t done in 3 fucking weeks, or even technically 3 months. I deserve it. :3

Eric Vivian Matthews

Do not ever use that emoji again

Cam

For every minute that you’re not here, I’ll use it. 

:3

Eric Vivian Matthews

Wow i actually fucking hate you

Is it too early to break up

Cam

How dare you

:3

Eric Vivian Matthews

Oh my fucking god, youre such a baby. Fine, im coming over, but if you use that emoji one more time im punching you in the face

Cam

Lol are you sure you can reach?

Eric Vivian Matthews

Yes.

(:

Cam

Oh no

Please don’t kill me I have so much to live for

Like having a stupid and gay boyfriend

Eric Vivian Matthews

Hey, that’s  _ my _ line

Anyways ok bye see you soon i guess

Cam

<3

Eric Vivian Matthews did not expect to have to get up at 2:46 in the morning, still half-asleep, socks mismatched to clumsily drive to his crush-- no, boyfriend’s (what the fuck?) house when he fell asleep that night, but here he is.

He shuffles out into the hallway, only dawning slippers and an oversized sweater. He yawns as he walks by the kitchen to grab his car keys.

“Going out during the witching hour?” A voice asks from the darkness. Swagger startles in an almost comical exaggeration, whipping his head towards the sound.

“Fucking christ, Mason,” Swagger says once he’s identified the figure in the dark. The only light in the room is from under the fridge and the moonlight pouring through the window. But the newly shaved head and pink hoodie is unmistakable. “Don’t scare me like that! I almost stabbed you.”

“You don’t have anything to stab me with,” Mason points out.

Swagger rolls his eyes. “I think that would be the least of your concerns. Why the hell are you up?”

“Didn’t wanna sleep. What about you?”

“None of your business.”

“You’re heading out at nearly 3 in the morning, I think it is my business.”

Swagger furrows his brows. “When the fuck did you become the overprotective parent?”

Mason grins. “Since never. I’m just fuckin’ with ya, cunt. Have fun doing whatever it is you’re doing,” he says with a wink.

What… the fuck. Mason’s being a weirdo, but he’s always a weirdo, so he doesn’t think too hard on it.   
  


“Whatever,” Swagger grumbles. “See ya.”

Mason doesn’t reply, simply waggling his eyebrows almost suggestively when Swagger passes by him.

Swagger manages to make it to Cam’s place in one piece, even if he is sleep deprived and having to rely on his sense of direction in the dark. He shivers in the cold night air, huddling into his pathetically thin sweater as he knocks on Cam’s door.

The door opens quickly, revealing said boyfriend. He’s decked out in plain grey sweatpants along with a black tank top that is just tight enough to see the outlines of everything. Damn, he works out, unlike himself. Swagger quickly darts his eyes away, gazing upwards. His dark circles are more prominent than ever, but his eyes seem to light up when Swagger’s own gaze meets his.

“Finally. That took you long enough,” his lovely boyfriend greets.

Swagger glares at him. “I get up and drive here in the dark at ass o’ clock in the morning and you greet me like a pizza delivery driver an hour late? Get fucked.” 

Cam breaks out into a goofy grin at that, which coaxes out the tiniest smile in Swagger, as well. Damn it. He really just has to be that cute, huh? “True, true. Thank you. Come in.” Before even waiting for a response, he grabs Swagger’s arm, dragging him inside.

Swagger blinks as he looks around the place. He’s been here twice before to keep up appearances, but that was fairly early on. Cam seems to be just about completely moved in now, though the apartment is quite large and modern. 

“Modern” meaning that it’s mostly a monochromatic color scheme with minimal amounts of any signs of human life. Bastard’s got glass stairs, for fuck’s sake! Homes in this style has always reminded him of how people in the 60’s thought a futuristic dystopia would be like. Grey, sleek, lifeless, boring. Blegh.

“Like what you see?” Cam asks from behind him. Swagger, who stupidly forgot his glasses, squints at the framed pictures on the wall. They’re empty, of course. 

“I guess. Doesn’t look very homey, but to each their own.”

“I’m not very good at making places look lived in,” Cam admits, sticking his hands in his sweatpants pockets. “I’ve moved around a lot, and at some point, you just get used to taking the bare minimum.”

Swagger nods. “I get that. You could try putting artwork on the walls, for a start. Something with color, though. This place is drab as all hell.”

“Wow, thank you for your kind words. I’m touched, truly.”

“Fuck off. Everybody needs at least a little bit of color in their lives.”

Cam squints at him. “Oh my god, is that why you’re gay? Does the rainbow provide all of the color you need?”

  
That’s a terrible joke, even for Cam’s standards. Swagger doesn’t even have the energy to respond, choosing to pointedly ignore it. “Anyways, what did you have in mind to do? Any, uh, boyfriend activities?”

  
“That sounds like a euphemism for fucking, Swags.”

“Hey, I ain’t fucking on the first date.”

“This is a date?”

Swagger shrugs. “Hell if I know.” He then yawns, body just remembering that it’s really late and he’s barely slept. “Ugh. I’m tired.”

“Ah, yeah, I am too… wanna sleep together, then? Good first date right there,” he suggests. Swagger snickers. 

“What’d I just say about no first date fucks?”

Cam rolls his eyes. “Please. You know what I mean.”

“Yeah yeah, sure.” He lets Cam lead the way upstairs and into the bedroom since he has no idea where anything is. 

All things considered, it’s a lot smaller than Swagger expected it to be, but that might be because it has a bathroom attached, a massive bed on one side of the wall, and a built in closet in the other. Like the rest of the house, it’s all shades of gray. Aside from a single plant that looks like it hasn’t been watered in a month and some clothes on the floor, it barely looks lived in.

“Tidy,” Swagger comments. He doesn’t really know what to say, to be honest. Mostly because holy FUCK, this dude, one of his closest friends, has become his boyfriend and they’ve never even kissed. He feels awkward, unsure of what the right boundaries are. He’s barely been in genuine relationships, mostly having one night stands, and even that never included men. Or best friends. If he screws this up, there’s going to be legitimate consequences. 

“You feeling alright?” Cam asks. Swagger blinks, reorienting himself. Cam’s sitting on top of his covers, looking a little bit concerned. He notes that the comforter set is white with a gray chrome pattern. He really needs to teach this man how to live with more colors and life. 

“Mostly,” Swagger replies. First and foremost, they’re friends, right? Friends tell each other the truth. He takes a breath. “To be honest, I’m just not really sure how to act. I’ve uh, never really gotten with a guy before…”

Cam raises his eyebrows. “Ever?”

“Ever. Wait-- does this mean you have?”

His face turns a little bit pink. “Ah, uh.. No. But I’ve never really been in a relationship, period..”

Now it’s Swagger’s turn to be surprised. Cam’s never been in a relationship? From all of the talk they’ve had about sex, girls, and relationships, he sort of figured he’d be an expert in those categories. He always sounded confident and knowledgeable. 

Wait, this means Swagger’s his first. Oh god, oh fuck. What if he screws up and ruins things forever?? It’s not like he was ever a very good boyfriend! Granted, his last serious relationship was years ago, but even so, it ended as a complete trainwreck.

“Swags, whatever you’re thinking about, calm down. I can feel your panic from here.”

“How the hell can you feel my panic?”

Cam shrugs. “Human empathy, I guess? Seriously, though. What are you so nervous about?”

“Well, I’ve never been very good with relationships, and I’m your first. Which probably doesn’t bode well. I know jack shit about anything, but I don’t wanna screw things up for us, you know? Boyfriend or not, you’re also one of my best friends. I don’t want to ruin things,” he admits. It feels good to vent, even if it’s out of character for him. Eric Vivian Matthews, calm and wild stoner. Hah, he wishes. Maybe that’s why he always smoked-- to forget that deep down, he’s a really anxious guy who overthinks everything. 

Cam smiles the tiniest bit. “I think you worrying so much about that just means that we’ll be fine. Don’t worry. I’m not a complete idiot, we can just figure things out as we go along. But if you wanna talk about boundaries.. What do  _ you  _ want?” 

“What do I want?”

“Yeah. You know, like, things you’re comfortable with or not. Like you said, no first date fucks, which is fine with me too. But then there’s kisses, cuddles…”

Oh. To be honest, Swagger’s never even considered that he could have boundaries about things like kissing or cuddling. When in relationships, it seems like it’s just expected to always be down for that. But it’s sweet how much Cam cares about how he feels, and he can feel himself relaxing. 

“Tonight,” he starts, shrugging off his flimsy sweater, “I just wanna lay the fuck down and sleep. And maybe cuddle, if you want.”

“Sounds good to me,” Cam says, followed by a yawn. “What side of the bed do you want?”

“You think I care about that?” Swagger snorts. He moves to the side of the bed that Cam isn’t sitting on, pulling back the covers and shimmying in. Cam shrugs again, mirroring the action on his side.

And then, the two of them are laying down in Cam’s bed -- it’s gotta be at least a King, because the thing is massive. It’s also incredibly soft. There’s still a large gap of space between them, so Swagger hesitantly rolls closer.

“Is this alright?” He asks.

“You said you wanted to cuddle, right?” Cam asks. His voice sounds lower, more tired. Is the bastard already falling asleep? Swagger nods. Cam moves an arm out. “C’mere.”

Swagger obliges, shifting until he can feel his own breath on Cam’s chest. Cam wraps his extended arm around Swagger’s waist, pulling him closer until his head is actually on his chest.

Holy fuck. This is just like all of those cheesy romance novels he read when he was younger, except instead of imagining himself as the manly man with the small girl, _ he’s _ the girl. Even weirder? He really, really likes it.

“You mentioned how you liked being the little spoon,” Cam whispers into his hair. “Is this okay?”

“You don’t need to keep asking, I’ll tell you if I want something different,” Swagger snorts. He throws his arm over Cam’s stomach. “But yeah, this is.. Good. Are you talking about my tweet?”

“Mhm.”

“Wow, you’re already falling asleep, huh?”

“Mm. Shut up. Sleep with me.”

“I should’ve known you were a fuckboy,” Swagger sighs dramatically. “I’ll have to reject you, sadly. I don’t wanna do anything except sleep.” That’s a sentence he thought he’d never say. Despite how many jokes he makes about loving sex, though, he usually doesn’t like to until the mood feels right. And he especially wants to take his time with something as new and fragile as this. 

Cam chuckles, breath sending tingles down Swagger’s spine. “You’re a fucking idiot, you know that?”

“I beg to differ. I am a genius. You, on the other hand…”

“Rude. Mason blows us all out of the water on the scale of idiocy, anyways.”

“That’s true. Speaking of, the fucking weirdo was sitting in the kitchen when I left. No idea what he was thinking, but he kept being weirdly suggestive. Any idea why?” Cam hums in thought, room falling silent for a moment.

“Oh,” Cam starts. “Yeah, Mason kept bugging me to just straight up ask you what was up between us because he was getting tired of watching the back and forth. So I did.”

Swagger blinks. Mason…

Oh.

That motherfucker.

Swagger buries his face into Cam’s chest. “Oh my god. I can’t believe he did it.”

“Did what?”

“Set us up. The cunt was trying for ages!”

“Oh, really? I just thought he was being weird.”

“Mason’s always weird.”

“True. Anyways, can we stop talking about Mason? We should be talking about us. Or, you know, sleeping,” Cam says.

Swagger yawns. “Sure, sure. Goodnight, uh… dear… boyfriend.”

Cam snickers softly. “That supposed to be a pet name?”

Despite not seeing his face, Swagger can feel himself get hot. “Shut up. I’m tired. I’ll come up with a better one later.”

“Sure, sure. Goodnight, Bon-bon.” Swagger nearly chokes on nothing. Bon-bon?!

But before he can even reply, Cam’s breath evens out, grip relaxed. Man, the dude falls asleep fast. He’s jealous, to be honest. Swagger closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. He’ll come up with an even cheesier nickname tomorrow. For now, right here, where he is, is perfect.

Eric Vivian Matthews has a lot of problems in life.

Firstly, his name is not Eric Vivian Matthews, but his friends are stupid and his fans are stupider. Seriously, the fuck kind of middle name is Vivian? 

Second, he’s quit smoking weed. He’ll be able to go back to it in a month again, if he so chooses, but honestly.. Maybe a break is just what he needs. At the end of the day, weed is a drug, too. Not as bad as cocaine or anything, but probably not good to develop a reliance on. If he truly can’t live a decent existence without weed, then he definitely has bigger problems on his hands. Maybe he should try therapy. His friends have had decent experiences with it. He makes a mental note to look into it.

What’s absolutely not an issue, though? Cam moving to Melbourne.

Because his totally gay, not straight, undeniable crush has been returned, and now he has him. He’s happy. Stupidly happy.

Nothing could ever ruin this.


End file.
